In this monochromatic whirlwind I see the colors of hate
A kiss for the dead and for those who sleep
Tell me what stirs your soul
These rose colored glasses distort the tainted
It’s like taking flight without wings
A curse of words for those that cannot speak
Heed my warning
What goes up is bound to fall
I was drawn to him like a tide to the moon
As the avalanche came ripping through my heart
I was left standing stark naked and hollow
An empty shelter for the unwanted youth

so i guess everything in my life is starting from scratch.
i have a job interview tomorrow with bath & body works in the mall (fun stuff).
i already "had an interview" with Cobb Beauty School so i start Jan. 4th. (more fun stuff)
my relationship life has matured and is starting down a new path (same guy for the past year {which i'm happy about})
my art is gradually changing styles and maturing a tad bit more.
AND lastly my confidence level has increased a smidgeon.
WOOT!?

as for my roommates:
Priscilla has a job at Ulta (cosmetics).
Cheyenne has a job at a grocery store pharmacy (Kroger).
Allen still is jobless, but has a pitbull puppy as of this morning (puppy name = King).

so bravo for everyone so far!
lets ask Ren & Stimpy to grant me this job of smelly goodness.
if granted then everything is pretty happy happy joy joy over here for a while.

so i've been bumming around since i graduated and honestly i feel like a hobo.
i hang out with friends, mooch around when i want to do something that requires money, and sit on my ass.
not the most excellent things in the world.
so i've decided i'm going to fill out FAFSA shit and try to get into Cobb Beauty School.
i'm looking forward to that like whoa.
then hopefully one of my classmates or w/e can fix my shit cause its all fucked up.
lmfao!?

anyways, i designed a couple new outfits for the portfolio (#2) and i'm workin on tattoo designs atm so hopefully i'll have some evidence of my creativity shortly.

as for relationship crap...i really shouldn't have one but i'd rather be frazzled and flustered than lonely and untouchable.

-C. Swan

i wanna sing you something beautiful
but my voice isn't loud enough to hear
let me be the one to take you home
let me show you what love is
i know we're set up to fail
its bound to happen.

i'd give anything to be the one.
please don't look back at the past
please just give this one last chance.

i wanna scream outloud how you make me feel
i swear i won't let it fade
this time will be different
this time i'll show you how to live
even though we're broken
i'll heal your wounds
i'll brush you off
we can do this.

i'd give anything to be the one.
please don't look back at the past
please just give this one last chance.

i wanna dance the night away
even if there isn't a sound
we'll make music with our hearts
forever i have waited
forever we've tried
to make something out of nothing
nothing can stop us now.

i swear i'll make this right now
so don't let go
cause i love you.

Sorrow rebuild me as I step out of the light
Misery strengthen me as I say my goodbyes

I heal my wounds with grief
And dream of you
And weep myself alive